chemo hair

Did you miss me?

Shalommm bitches! I’m still here. Don’t worry. I have been asked to write a weekly column about breast cancer (from a young survivor’s point of view) for another website…. which is why I have been MIA from my regular blog. So check out my posts here:  breastcancer-news.com

They’re considerably more G-rated than this website (cause fuck is a bad word I guesssss). So the new posts are something you could show your grandma and not feel bad about. I’ll begin updating my blog every week as I write my column for Breast Cancer News.

Oh yeah PS — I have pink hair. Incase you don’t follow me on one of my numerous social media channels. InstagramFacebookSnapchat. Ok ciao!

Gettin Wiggy With It


Howdy! So I’ve been getting a lot of requests recently for information about my wigs. I posted below all of the wigs that I have that I can find a link to. If I get new ones, I’ll update the list, and if you have questions about a specific one just let me know! I also have a gallery of my wigs that I scrapped together from my Instagram and Snapchat pics. So here ya go, babes! 

Ones currently available online:

Cheap-o wigs (under $50). 

Black red/purple ombré wig: http://a.co/aWCivRP

Red hooker wig: http://a.co/h0vLIns

White/grey wig: http://a.co/4mUVdow

Blonde/Brown ombré: http://a.co/3ZGYCfl

Black/Grey ombré: http://a.co/eERbUHF

Black/Mint Green ombré: http://a.co/4et5dRB

Long wavy light brown/blonde wig (I call this my princess hair wig): http://a.co/gMYwFeE

Paramount Wigs on Etsy: I’ve bought a few off here, a long blonde one, an ombré curly brown/blonde one, and a brown/red long one. The wigs she sells are all different, so you can’t buy the exact ones that I have but check her shop out! https://www.etsy.com/shop/ParamountWigs


Fancy wigs: ($300+)

Drew HD Monofilament Lace Front Wig by Jon Renau

Cherry Crème (32F) and Fudgesicle (6) — $306.20 each


Alessandra HD Monofilament Lace Front Wig by Jon Renau

ALMONDINE (10RH16)  and Dark Brown (6) — $326.00 each




Eyelash extensions can go to Hell

It’s a love-hate relationship. Like, right now, I hate them. I got eyelash extensions the first week in April, when my eyelashes were presumably long enough to have extensions. The salon I went to was overjoyed to have me, and my $210. YES, that’s right: $175 plus I gave a $35 tip. Plus… I went back twice to get them “filled” for $80 each time. Round of applause for me. Again, I’ve found something stupid that I’ve wasted my money on. If you haven’t noticed, I am suffering from extreme buyers remorse at all the things I could have spent my money on instead of dead eyelashes.

I am going to refrain from listing the salon’s name, because truthfully I don’t think it was THEIR fault. I don’t think that the lash technician had actually ever put eyelash extensions on a chemo patient, so I don’t think they knew what to expect. I think that they just hoped for the best and swiped that credit card faster than a vegan at Whole Foods.

The first time was great, she placed small, thin individual lashes on my lashes. It basically just made them longer, which is what I wanted! Four weeks later, I had them filled and there was a new lady… she put on larger cluster lashes because she wanted to give me a “cat eye” look. I didn’t ask for this cat-eye look, but when she said “all finished!” in her upbeat Ukrainian accent and popped a mirror infront of my face, I couldn’t help but be impressed. Hot damn, momma’s lashes looked good!

Those lasted about a week before they started rapidly falling out and taking out my real lashes with them. Soon, I had large gaps and awkward chunks missing in my lash line. Hot damn, momma looks like a HOT MESS.

I went back in to get them filled by the same girl who originally did my lashes. She explained that the reason they were all falling out is because eyelash extensions are basically “like putting a really heavy backpack on a really small kid… the weight is too much for him to carry and he can’t grow if he’s carrying so much weight.”


Well since I was already there, I figured I’d try it one more time. So she tried to help me out. She put on really small, thin lashes very sparingly and tried to just make them look normal again. I barely lasted three days before over half of them had fallen back out. My lashes had clearly had enough. They were exhausted from carrying these heavy fake spears of vanity and gave up on life.

**Moment of silence for all of my fallen lashes**

By day 6, the extensions were all gone. Every. Single. Lash…. was now somewhere in my Dyson vacuum laying solemnly in a grave of gray dust and pet hair.

The point of my sad sob story isn’t to make you feel sorry for me and my stupid fleeting eyelashes_before_afterattempts at vanity. I actually just wanted to send out a warning signal out there into the cancer community to anybody considering doing this as well. I really didn’t know this could happen. I thought I did enough research prior to my decision to get the extensions… but I didn’t look hard enough or talk to enough people. So heed my warning betches considering the pros and cons of these fluttery felons!

Yesterday, I told my plastic surgeon about my sad eyelash story. Without sympathy or regard, he told me to take Latisse like he had prior advised. OK I get it, nobody feels sorry for me. I impatiently sabotaged my normal, healthy growing eyelashes with these fake lash-slaying harpoons on my lids. Whatevsssss. LIVE and LEARN people. Live and learn.

My next plan of action is that I am trying castor oil on my lashes… which has been advised by numerous other cancer patients… and I’m going to suck it up and buy the Latisse. Which actually costs less than the extensions. For those wondering… castor oil is not motor oil! It’s from some sort of bean… a …castor bean? I assume. Yes. I Googled and it’s a bean. Also, my Google search revealed that these beans are also commonly used by children in Brazil as slingshots. Soooo there’s that.

If anybody has any other things you advise, please let me know! I am open to LITERALLY ANYTHING. I am even rubbing slingshot bean oil on my eyes for fuck’s sake!

I just wanted to end this post on a side note about hair. I’m really missing my long hair lately. Many of you who know me, know that I also like to “twirl” my hair while I’m working or thinking. Can’t do that now, and it’s driving me bananas So if you’re having a bad hair day, or think you hate your long hair and want to “pull a Britney Spears” and shave it all … Kindly shut the fuck up and go rub some oil in your eyes. HA! Ok ciao betches.