Tag: cancer

It’s 2017: Where is My Flying Car and Cancer Cure?

To infinity and beyond!

I dream of a future where we can take a pill and our cancer will be gone forever. Of a world that doesn’t have disease, and if we’re feeling sick we can just “reboot” our body like it’s a laptop. And when we need a new organ, we can teleport over to the hospital where a cyborg doctor zaps us with a space zapper thing to replace our old pickled liver with a fresh one that was grown using our own stem cells. Who’s coming with me?

Right now, we’re at the dawn of a paradigm shift where artificial intelligence and technology govern a future that we can’t even fathom.  The distant reality of what’s in store for our world may actually look a lot like The Jetsons with flying cars and robots (minus the racism, sexism, and kitschy futurism). But The Jetsons can’t even comprehend some of these absurd advances in science. Like, a cancer vaccine. The technology is close; Gardasil® and Cervarix® are HPV vaccinations that prevents certain gynecological cancers already. Or what if a bra could monitor our breasts for early signs of cancer? Well shut the front door, because the technology already exists! Medical and scientific research is on the brink of discovering remarkable technology; so get excited.

The World Health Organization predicts the amount of new cancer cases will rise 70% in the next two decades. It’s a terrifying number, and also the reason money is pouring into startup companies focused on developing oncology technologies and advanced cognizant search algorithms.

A.I. or artificial intelligence is the future of diagnosing and possibly curing cancer. The development of safe A.I. has given us as a more powerful, efficient human brain that can search thousands of sets of data using context and reasoning. I can barely walk and talk at the same time; but Watson–IBM’s “Jeopardy” winning supercomputer—can read through the equivalent of 1 million books in 1 second to generate a personalized, evidence-based treatment plan for my specific cancer. Watson can find new treatments and clinical trials that your oncologist may not be aware of. And it’s available to you now, your physician can request a report through Quest Diagnostics.

The applications for A.I. are endless. CureMetrix is a startup company using algorithms for image analysis to detect anomalies in mammograms and X-rays that have been missed by the human eye. While these technologies can’t and won’t replace a doctor’s human instincts, they do increase the patient’s care and prognosis.

In the future, maybe we’ll just rewrite our DNA? CRISPR-Cas9 is a controversial technology that allows scientists to do just that; edit DNA in a gene sequence by using two key molecules to cut into specific parts of the genome to forcefully mutate it. Theoretically, this could be used to reprogram cancer cells, although we still don’t understand why cells turn cancerous. That’s  where Microsoft’s big brain is coming to the rescue – they have announced a plan to “solve” cancer by identifying exactly why cells become cancer. If we can understand how a cancer cell mutates, we can probably fix it.

This all sounds wonderful, but A.I. and genetically modified cells is how the zombie robot apocalypse starts, right? According to Hollywood, yes. The same Hollywood that also made five Sharknado movies about a tornado with sharks in it, and like, thirty-eight movies about sparkling vampires. It’s possible that this technology could be used to create terminator robots, but many smart, rich people like Elon Musk are not going to let that happen.

In our lifetime, we may not have flying cars, or the ability to transfer our conscience into a robotic Chihuahua—but we will find a better solution for cancer. Chemotherapy and radiation will become antiquated treatments. I doubt humankind will achieve immortality anytime soon; but at least there will be a lot less suffering and disease. So, thank you to the scientists, doctors and smart people for your amazing work. 2017 is a strange time, but I am optimistic of the future. Also, I’d like to thank them ahead of time for my freshly grown liver, because this bottle of rosé isn’t going to drink itself tonight.

This article first appeared on breastcancer-news.com.

The Struggle is Real AF

Chemo brain is a real thing.

It’s 3:40 and I have an appointment at 4, and it’s going to take me at least twenty minutes to drive there in traffic this time of day. I grab my Louie bag. Toss in a bottle of water, my wallet and my makeup bag as I run out the door and hop into my car. Turn the car on. Put the car in reverse. Go to grab my phone to look up directions to my appointment. FUCK. I left my phone on the kitchen counter. Park car. Turn off engine. Run into the house like a crazy woman with a swarm of bees chasing her.

Just a normal moment in my life. This type of stuff happens every day. I. Forget. Everything. I would forget my own birthday if I didn’t have to write it on doctor forms all the time.

I’m not going to just any appointment either, I’m going to see a psychiatrist. Because I literally can’t deal with this sorry excuse for a brain anymore. I give up. I gave up. I tried for about 9 months to tell myself that chemo brain wasn’t that bad and that it didn’t affect me. In those months, I forgot birthdays. I forgot important doctor appointments. I forgot which airport I was flying out of. I forgot to pay a hospital bill. I forgot to call people back. I went to the grocery store to buy coffee and I came back with a cart full of food except for the coffee.

The last straw came when I started to notice that my forgetfulness could sometimes hurt other people. I was a half assed friend and person in general and I’ve never been that way until now. I knew it wasn’t who I was. My brain was like a generator being powered by a single potato.

I keep saying that I was going to see a psychiatrist for a few months, and again, I kept forgetting to make an appointment. Or I’d yield an anemic attempt to look up a local psychiatrist and get frustrated and give up. I tried taking “brain pills” like focus factor. I tried green tea, green caffeine, normal caffeine, gingko biloba, B vitamins, unicorn tears, vampire glitter, etc.

I was still driving the struggle bus all the way to struggle city. Sippin’ on that struggle sizzurp.
(sorry, you get the point)

But I finally got an appointment (which was not covered by insurance of course) and saw a psychiatrist. I am not a huge cheerleader for ADHD drugs like Adderall and Vyvanse but I knew I needed something. I was so frustrated. I knew I needed something to help me focus.

I met with the psychiatrist. I had never been to one before this moment in my life. It was literally verbatim like the movies. I was kinda excited! He had a mahogany paneled office with a large full-wall bookshelf stocked with leather-bound books, encyclopedias and old airplane figurines. He had a large leather couch and one of those chase lounge/bed thingys that you’re supposed to lay down on and cry and tell your life story. So chic! His desk was a huge solid mahogany one like the Prezzy has in his oval office. He didn’t have a computer or a laptop or even a phone on his desk. He had a pad of blank unlined paper…and …. get this… a fountain pen and an ink well. He dipped his pen in the ink and started writing his notes in cursive on blank paper. Fancy as fuck huh. He was old school. (he was also just plain old — he has been in practice for 57 years)

After I told him my life story and history, he said that it appeared like I had the inattentive type of ADHD. He thinks I probably had always had it, but that chemo had just exacerbated the symptoms. I figured that much. Growing up my friends didn’t exactly call me “Snoozin” for my sharp attention span. I had always been the type who quietly listened to other people speaking as I daydreamed about something else and their words fluttered in one ear and out the next.

Friend: Beep Boop Bap Zing Ping Pong Potato Tomato

Me: Wait did you just say you’re allergic to broccoli?

Friend: ……. What? No I said my son just stared playing hockey. And his allergies are terrible.

My brain: [ ting-tong-ching-chong fa lalalala ]
Me: Oh yeah ha-ha I was just kidding… Hockey, sounds neat-o. **insert awkward smile emoji**

Inattentive ADHD is descried as having at least 6 of these symptoms:

• Not paying attention to detail
• Making careless mistakes
• Failing to pay attention and keep on task
• Not listening
• Being unable to follow or understand instructions
• Avoiding tasks that involve effort
• Being distracted
• Being forgetful
• Losing things that are needed to complete tasks

So I left Doctor McFancy’s office with a written prescription for Adderall time release. Has it been working? Yes! Do I feel different? YES! Doesn’t Adderall make you feel jittery or hyper? No, not if it’s prescribed correctly and it’s working the way it should be. I feel great. It doesn’t keep me up all night. I take it when I wake up and it starts wearing down at around dinner time. Will Adderall work for everyone? I have no idea, I’m not a doctor although I’d like to have a doctor’s salary.

So it’s Monday and I’m just starting my second week on it. No complications or side effects so far. I’ll let you all know how it works long-term. There are no known side effects or interactions with Tamoxifen or any increased breast cancer risk.

I feel like I am normal. I am no longer a lazy slug with a potato-powered brain!

I want to note that medication may not be the best solution for everyone experiencing chemo brain. Certain chemotherapy drugs are also shown to have more damaging effects on cognitive function than others, as are certain hormone therapy drugs. Chemotherapy given in higher, more concentrated dosages (which is what I got) also has shown to have worse long term effects on cognitive functioning.

Hopefully, in my lifetime, we will see the day when chemotherapy is an outdated treatment. Although it does save lives, chemotherapy’s negative affects are garnering more attention and causing people to turn away and seek alternative therapy.

It’s just an endless cycle of pharmaceutical drugs. Doctors administer outrageously expensive chemotherapy medicine to kill cancer. Patient needs more pharmaceutical drugs to cope with chemo. Nausea drugs. Anxiety medicine. Pain pills. And then the long-term effects present a need for more expensive drugs to treat lymphedema, chronic pain, chemo brain, etc. Doctor visits, private psychiatrist sessions, surgery, hospital stays, physical therapy, expensive lab tests and scans.

Money, money, money.

I don’t know. If you regularly read my blog, you know that I’m usually very optimistic. But I do sort of feel a little bit defeated because I had to turn to another chemical to make myself feel normal again. It seems to have solved my problem for the time being, though. So for that, I am grateful. It just makes me think, what the fuck is taking so long with this cancer cure? If nobody profited off of all this medicine and treatment, would we have found a cure sooner?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Deep thoughts. Thank you Adderall, I guess.

For more information on symptoms of chemo brain click here:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/chemo-brain/home/ovc-20170224

S

It could never happen to me.

Everybody thinks that it will never happen to them.

Cancer is a shady bitch like that. Imagine you’re just jogging (or walking) along your usual proverbial path… it’s such a routine that you could probably do it blindfolded. Except this time you slam into an elephant. “Wait, how the HELL did I not see that elephant?! Elephants aren’t even native to this country, why the fuck is it here?! Hello did somebody lose their …um… pet elephant?” You had your head down and you were flying down the path like a loose puppy with your ears flapping in the wind. You never expected to run into an elephant because, seriously, that only happens on an African safari or something right?

That’s exactly how cancer is. You didn’t see it coming, you weren’t looking for it, and you NEVER thought it could happen to you. It happens to other people maybe, but not you. You’re heathy and you’re heading down your path full speed into life’s bliss. Just heed my warning betches and don’t be naïve and dumb like I was.

Over two years ago I started following a girl on Instagram who was 24 and had breast cancer. I remember once I found her I was paralyzed on the couch, stalking her pictures for about an hour saying “what the fucccckkkkk” about a hundred times under my breath. As I scanned over images of her bald head and scarred body I remember exactly how I felt; terrified, horrified, amazed, despondent. How could somebody so young have breast cancer? In my lifetime, the few people that I knew who had cancer were older; in their 50’s and beyond. I couldn’t imagine being a young girl and having to put your life on hold to FIGHT for your life. I was even terrified to have my blood drawn (I used to pass out) so I couldn’t comprehend going through chemo and multiple surgeries. I was completely heartbroken going through her pictures. But as I continued to follow her story I realized that she was not sad or miserable, she was optimistic, happy, grateful. Amazing! How could somebody who has been dealt a shitty hand of cards in life be so content and cheerful?
Keep reading…

I know that God was looking out for me back then. Somehow in the divine tapestry of the universe I found her Instagram account and was given a foreshadowing into my own future. Of course, I had no idea back then, but now I am certain of this. When I was diagnosed, I remembered her and it helped me to know that I wasn’t alone, and that I needed to be optimistic and unafraid. At the same time I discovered her Instagram, I had the small lump in my right boob. Even after seeing the 24 year old girl with breast cancer, I was still disavowed with the notion that I might have cancer also. I used any excuse available. “Well my doctor said it looks like a fibroid, and so I trust the expert’s opinion.” I didn’t trust the gut feeling that was nagging at me. Also at that time, my mind was clouded as I was divorcing my ex-husband so I didn’t even have a spare brain cell left to consider the possibility of cancer. I was just certain that those things don’t happen. Nobody gets dealt a hand that includes an unfaithful, narcissistic husband AND breast cancer at 28. That shit DOES NOT happen… right?

Well, whatever boo-hoo it happened. I tripped over the elephant because I didn’t believe that elephants existed. I ignored the signs. I didn’t listen to my body or my intuition. My point is: don’t let that happen to you, safeguard your life. You can still run full speed ahead, like I am doing, just keep your head up and pay attention to the signs along the way. If you have family members who have cancer, you especially can’t think that it couldn’t happen to you. My father’s side of the family carries the ATM genetic mutation, which we only recently found out in light of my cancer diagnosis. I’ve encouraged them all to get tested for this mutation. If you carried a cancer gene wouldn’t you want to know so you could prepare and defend yourself from this horrible disease? I wish I had known before it was too late, because now I’ve lost my boobs and my hair. So please don’t be naïve and think it can’t happen to you, cancer can happen to anybody. Please visit your doctor regularly and speak up about any pains and issue, no matter how small. And please for the love of God get a mammogram if you’re over 40 and a biopsy on any breast lumps no matter how old you are. Either way, when you get those results you’ll either be relieved that you’re in the clear or relieved that you’ve caught the cancer before it can do any damage.

Also, the Instagram profile was @NalieAgustin if you’d like to follow her!