If cancer were a person.

If cancer were a person.

If cancer were a person, they would be a sadistic sociopath with a vile heart. They would be cunning and sarcastic, laughing at your accomplishments and gloating about their own. They would be tasteless and tacky, cocky and offensive.

But cancer has another side. A Hyde to their Jekyll. They are brutally unbiased and non-judgmental; making no opinion on a person based on their race, age, gender, lifestyle. Cancer accepts everybody with no discrimination. It won’t stereotype you. It has an endearing work ethic, and doesn’t accept defeat readily. It’s productive and skilled at it’s craft. Cancer wants to be friends with everybody, no matter who you are.

Recently, a friend in our cancer community was given a devastating blow; it had returned. She had been in remission for a few years. Her hair grew back; enviously beautiful and long. She moved on, but cancer came back. It’s like an abusive ex-boyfriend, but worse. This news sent a shockwave through her community of followers and cancer survivors.

She is the epitome of health and hope. She did everything right and took every precaution to protect herself from cancer. If it came back for her, it will surely come back for me. But the ugly truth is that cancer doesn’t care. It’s not fair and it fucking sucks! It doesn’t care if you smoke two packs of cigarettes a day, or if you are a Vegan who drives a Prius. Sure, one of those two are statistically less likely to get cancer, but seriously who the hell knows anymore? If we all didn’t eat/drink/use the things that science claims cause cancer then we would all starve, smell, and be bored as fuck.

I’ve settled into a happy medium this past year, I try not to let cancer scare me. I do certain things to keep my cancer recurrence at bay… Tamoxifen, Tumeric, CBD, exercise, less sugar, less meat, less dairy, less alcohol (def not around the holidays though). But I also have my vices. I’m not giving up alcohol for good. I do, however, think that the years while I was drinking wine every single night and on birth control for like 10 years probably unleashed my genetic cancer mutation. But, again, who the hell knows. See previous post “Did wine give me cancer?” And occasionally when I’m a little drunk, I bum a cigarette from a friend. Bad, yes! But I am owning it. If you’d like to send me an email about how perfect YOU are, by all means do it. He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her. 

Blah blah sugar is bad and I need to try an alkaline vegan diet and start taking activated charcoal and smoking weed every day. **Sighhhh** Everything causes cancer and is bad. Pollution is bad, should we stop breathing? Stop driving cars? No. Well maybe if we could all ride unicorns instead.

We’re all doing our best and I think that’s enough. We are enough. We’re held hostage in a game of Russian roulette with cancer. We really don’t know. So go on and live your life as healthy as you can. We all have our little weaknesses, but we know our bodies. I truly think that the best defense against cancer is optimism. Visualize your future without cancer. Manifest your positive thoughts into existence. THAT shit actually works pretty good. Pray for your friends and family’s health. PRAY for my friend who had a recurrence. Send her your positive vibes, prayers, energy. She’s got this! We’re all behind her.

We’re all going to be okay. I know a lot of people are freaking out about a recurrence. I did too. I still do. But I am actively making a decision to stay positive and encouraging to all my cancer warriors. Be vigilant in your journey but stay calm and know that it’s really not in your control. Surrender your fear; free fall into the peaceful energy of the universe and let it catch you and take you where you’re meant to be. Namaste betches.



  1. Susan, keep up the good work I’m so proud of you and your blog that you’re reaching out to others that have cancer and helping them. In my opinion you did nothing to cause your cancer and I think you’re perfect just the way you are. Love you, Mom

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